When I was younger I used to love Valentine's day. Even if the majority of cards I received were actually from my mum and dad (or '?' as they liked to call themselves) there was nothing more exciting then someone declaring their love for you, secret or otherwise!
However, as the years have passed and I have grown into a fully fledged(ish) woman, I have slowly begun to lose my excitement for this once poetic day.
Now don't get me wrong I am still a traditional romantic at heart, it is just as adulthood seems more evident in our lives, so too is responsibility! Urgh, just saying it reminds me that it is probably the most boring word in humanity, but still it is necessary non the less!
Although I love most things that come with growing up (like being able to swear in company and your parents not giving you the eye) being responsible for myself is not one of them. Or at least in the financial sense anyway. Because now I tend to look at public holidays as one of those people who say 'oh it is only so the card companies can make some money,' which whether true or not (though more likely true) just sounds like I am a sour old man with chronic leg pains.
The truth is I only start to think like this when I tend to be a bit short on money (that responsibility thing again!) So looking through 'City Break' brochures or even Thornton's websites with my spare £5 clutched in my hand, is almost laughable it's so sad.
So, this year I have decided to not let money get in the way, and being a creative I have devised a cunning plan that we can all use if we are a bit short of dosh this time of year.
Now don't get too excited, I'm not going to teach you how to whittle a cruise ship out of a tree branch, but I am in fact going to advise you how to write your very own love poem (or a 'declaration of love' if you will!)
First things first: Someone in mind when you write this would be kind of handy. However, I know that not everyone has a partner, or a lover or perhaps even a cat to dedicate their wonderful poem to. So if this is the case for you then I would suggest a poem to that person you know and love the best - yourself!
Secondly: Start thinking 'lovey.' Now you might decide to stick a Jennifer Aniston film on and weep uncontrollably, or if you have someone in mind you might perhaps think back to when you first met and how foxy they were in that outfit etc etc. But do try to stay focused, remember I said 'lovey' not 'pervy.'
Thirdly: Get 'sensory' and by this I mean make a list of all your senses and how your 'loved one' can have an effect on them. Include insects like 'butterflies' and your onto a winner! (FYI try to avoid things like 'I heard you coming')
Number 4: Avoid cliches at all costs, no one deserves that.
Number 5: As well as details about themselves, add things that are pleasant to look at too. Think sunshine, clouds, bunny rabbits, moustaches... you know, that type of thing.
Finally: You need to consider how you are going to present your wonderful serenade to your 'lover' - are you a simple card sort of person? Or would you rather spring out of a box full of marshmallows, naked with it written on your chest? Either is fine, but do remember you are doing this because you are cheap - so perhaps the more the merrier!
If all else fails you can't go wrong with sex coupons (though I would probably avoid these if you are just trying to tell the guy at the book shop you like him - it may give him the wrong impression!)
I hope this helps you on your journey to free Valentine's town! If your attempt at a poem was successful, feel free to share it with us! If it wasn't so successful, still do share - we all enjoy a good laugh :D
Happy day of Love